Thursday, April 14, 2005

Who is this guy?

Lawrence found this hilarious review of the new Darth Vader Voice Changer Helmet on amazon:

Now, I am the master, November 15, 2004
Reviewer: chatchi (Chicago, IL) - See all my reviews

As the manager of a team of ten employees, I could sense that I was losing my grasp on them. I tried a number of different techniques to get them back on board, but after resorting to an unsuccessful five-week phase of using profanity to emphasize my demands, I realized that I was beginning to run out of options. I needed something that would reinforce the fact that I was the authority, and that my team had to do everything I said.

With the recent DVD release of the original "Star Wars" trilogy, I was reminded of the command and fear that the evil Darth Vader had over people. His menacing appearance and voice were just what I needed to bring my team back together and achieve the levels of productivity I strived for.

The mask arrived at the perfect time. Morale was low, and my employees were starting to undermine everything I told them. I found their lack of faith disturbing, so I scheduled an emergency meeting for my team. Showing up five minutes late -- waiting until the tension was thick -- I made my dramatic entrance into the room. Wearing all black and my Darth Vader Voice Changer Helmet, I could literally see beads of sweat instantly form on their foreheads. My imposing visage made my statement clear -- I was the boss.

Utilizing the helmet's voice changer and actual pre-recorded movie lines, my employees quickly recognized that their ability to be insubordinate was insignificant next to the power of upper management.

I may have needed the Darth Vader Voice Changer Helmet to command respect from my team, but because of it, they may yet be of some use to me.


To read more of the reviews written by this guy (I highly recommend his review of a thesaurus), click here


Blogger Brian said...

"Who is this guy?" Well, he's me. I'm chatchi (or chatchi is me... depending on how you look at it). Glad you enjoyed my review(s). It's always fun to see my "name" pop up in a Google search. I keep a fairly-frequent blog under my real name (Brian). Here's the link:

11:31 AM  
Blogger scott said...


12:37 PM  

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